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<h1><a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/27855138">Guilt</a> by <a class='authorlink' href='https://archiveofourown.org/users/AlienBoi1303/pseuds/AlienBoi1303'>AlienBoi1303</a></h1>

<table class="full">

<tr><td><b>Category:</b></td><td>The Owl House (Cartoon)</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Genre:</b></td><td>Angst, I dont know how to tag, One Shot, Set after Covention episode, Vomiting</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Language:</b></td><td>English</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Status:</b></td><td>Completed</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Published:</b></td><td>2020-12-03</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Updated:</b></td><td>2020-12-03</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Packaged:</b></td><td>2021-05-10 22:47:17</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Rating:</b></td><td>General Audiences</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Warnings:</b></td><td>No Archive Warnings Apply</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Chapters:</b></td><td>1</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Words:</b></td><td>1,476</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Publisher:</b></td><td>archiveofourown.org</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Story URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/works/27855138</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Author URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/users/AlienBoi1303/pseuds/AlienBoi1303</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Summary:</b></td><td><div class="userstuff">
              <p>Set the night after the Covention, and Lilith regrets what happened between her and her sister</p><p> Based off an idea I had where Lilith reacts so harshly to Eda chiding her about cheating because Lilith technically cheated by cursing her when they were kids.</p><p>I'm really bad at tagging and titles lmao</p>
            </div></td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Comments:</b></td><td>2</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Kudos:</b></td><td>14</td></tr>

</table>

<a name="section0001"><h2>Guilt</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
      <p>This is pretty angsty, and I think it gets confusing with the integrated backstory, but I really wanted to write this out cause I thought it was a good idea</p>
    </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>“Don’t forget what Emperor Belos promised you,” Kiki had said, through the small mirror the emperor’s coven used as telecommunication devices.</p><p>After Kikimora hung up, Lilith was left alone in her small room. It was nothing like the room she grew up in, too cold and empty for that.</p><p>The mirror was taunting her, reminding her of her past. Laughing at her, screaming at her for what happened to her sister all those years ago.</p><p>‘You cheated!’ Edalyn’s words from earlier that day rang out in her mind, reminding her of what she’d done.</p><p>Lilith had almost told her the truth, she had Edalyn cornered, ready to tell her that the curse was her fault, but she could help her sister, if she just trusted her, and then, in perfect Edalyn style, she ran. Tricked once again by her sister.</p><p>‘Remember what Emperor Belos promised you’ the power to heal your sister. Though the words had been left unsaid, Lilith knew what Kiki was talking about.</p><p>It wasn’t power she wanted, it wasn’t anything of the sort, she wanted her sister back, to be able to see her without hunting her, to tell her the truth, but she knew it wouldn’t happen. Edalyn would rather die than join a coven, especially the emperor’s, and at the rate she was going, she would.</p><p>The mirror was still taunting her, despite everything she changed about her appearance, dying and straightening her hair, wearing contacts instead of glasses, everything to distance herself from who she used to be, those eyes still stayed the same.</p><p>Edalyn had looked so similar to the night she was cursed. She still had wild hair, though it was more grey than red these days, in fact, it was entirely grey, with no red in sight. Though, maybe that was better. Who would have known that an eighteen year old curse could age someone so quickly.</p><p>She looked weaker, as if the slightest breeze would knock her over, but Lilith knew first hand that appearances weren’t everything. Eda was still as strong as ever, nearly beating her in a duel, but Lilith had won, and she wasn’t sure if she was thankful for the curse at that moment in time.</p><p>Lilith had noticed that despite it all, Edalyn’s eyes had stayed the same. Bright golden, where you could almost see the mischief behind them. And while Lilith’s eyes looked the same on the surface, she knew that deep down, they had changed from the bright, hard working child to dead, and drone like.</p><p>She barely even noticed when her fist hit the wall, shaking the table, causing the mirror to slam shut. </p><p>“Shit,” she muttered, her hand now throbbing in pain. It was nothing a simple healing spell couldn’t fix, but she just couldn’t bring herself around to doing it. After all the pain she had caused her sister, her family, didn’t she at least slightly deserve a broken hand?</p><p>She sighed, and sat down on her bed. It was the same room she had spent the past twenty years, it was still uncomfortable, and didn’t feel homey.</p><p>There was none of her sister running up and down the halls, throwing snowballs at her to wake her up at stupid hours, or their father chasing Eda down the halls, laughter filling their small house.</p><p>‘Lilly wait, the curse’ Eda had practically begged. Lilith should have kept fighting, sent her sister off to the conformitorium, but instead, she stopped. ‘The curse is worsening and I can’t keep up with it’ and it’s all your fault, the voice in her head taunted her. “Shut up” Lilith growled back, hoping no one outside of her room could hear her.</p><p>‘I don’t know how much time I have left’ after hearing those words, it took all of Lilith’s strength to not tell her sister then and there that it was her fault, that she had messed up, but she couldn’t, not in front of everyone.</p><p>Everyone on the isle know about Edalyn’s curse, thought it was some trick from a fellow student that Edalyn had pranked, a joke gone too far, but what if they found out that the head of the Emperor’s coven was the one to do it, that she cursed her sister for her own gain.</p><p>She felt like she was going to puke.</p><p>‘I had to see my sister, for possibly the last time’, that had hit her the hardest. Knowing that her sister was practically dying, knowing that it was her fault…</p><p>Lilith ran over to the bin in her room, and threw up everything she had eaten that day. Her hand was throbbing in even more pain, and she felt like she couldn’t breathe.</p><p>‘This is what you deserve’ the voice in her head told her, and she agreed. After everything she had put those who loved her through, of course she deserved that.</p><p>After Eda had been cursed, their parents spent months looking for a cure, or at least something that could help Eda live a normal life again. They spent all their money trying to help their youngest daughter, while their oldest was living a life of what they presumed to be luxury in the emperor’s coven.</p><p>At first, the emperor’s coven was nice, they ate three meals a day, got to learn new, harder magic and train with the best of the best, but after a year, things started changing. They were woken up at dawn to train, forced to go out all hours of the day, hunting down whoever the emperor saw as a criminal, tearing families apart, and at the time, Lilith thought she was in the right.</p><p>That was, until her parents were brought in. </p><p>As a part of being in the emperor’s coven, Lilith had to work shifts at the conformitorium when she wasn’t in the town hunting down criminals.</p><p>One night, when Lilith was on shift at the front, marking who came through the gates, who was being locked up, and who was being realised, when she heard a familiar voice.</p><p>She didn’t know who it was at first, but as they got closer, Lilith was thankful for the bird mask she was forced to wear.</p><p>Her mother had been knocked out cold, and for that Lilith was grateful. Her mother had always shared the same eyes as her sister, bright and golden, full of mischief. Lilith was given her father’s eyes, which were now glaring at her with distaste, and Lilith wasn’t sure if it hurt her more that maybe, just maybe, he knew who was under the mask.</p><p>“What are they in for?” Lilith asked, trying to change her voice so her father didn’t realise it was her.</p><p>“Hiding a covenless witch, twenty years,” the guard had said, and while Lilith wrote it down, her father spoke.</p><p>“She will join a coven, just after her curse is fixed, I refuse to let my daughter go off when I don’t know she’ll be safe,” he insisted, trying to plead with Lilith.</p><p>“I’m sorry sir, it’s the will of the emperor, please, just go calmly,” Lilith tried to explain.</p><p>“I will not go calmly, my daughter is in pain, she needs me! Please, don’t you have a family?”</p><p>“Sir, there is nothing I can do…” Lilith tried again, but she was cut off.</p><p>“My daughter, my other one, she’s in your coven, please, tell her we’re in here, ask her to visit, I need someone to listen.”</p><p>“Of course sir, what is her name?” Lilith was about to cry now, if he knew that her daughter was the one putting him away, he would never talk to her again.</p><p>“Lilith, her name is Lilith Clawthorn, thank you, thank you so much,” he was weeping now, and finally he let himself be dragged off, inside the prison.</p><p>“Lucile, I’m taking my break, cover for me?” Lilith said to the other guard working on shift with her.</p><p>“Yeah sure Lilith,” he replied, knowing that the people just brought in were her parents.</p><p>While the older members of the coven had become numb to others feelings, much preferring to do whatever benefited them, which was usually ratting out other coven members to get in Belos’ good graces, the younger recruits were a lot nicer. After all, a lot of people joined covens to make friends.</p><p>Lilith tried to shake the memory from her head as she dry heaved into the bin, her abs were hurting, and she felt lightheaded, but she couldn’t convince herself to get up off the floor.</p><p>Instead, she lay there, and let herself fall into a restless sleep, thankful that the nightmares stayed away, and the guilt didn’t kill her in her dreams.</p><p>She would get Edalyn eventually, heal her curse and beg for forgiveness another day, but for now, her body needed sleep.</p>
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